In my second elevator pitch I chose to listen to some feedback I was given from my first one. I had received three comments and all of them had said I had started out great but cut it a bit short. They also said I did not reveal a lot of information that would have been needed. Some people suggested that I include a bit too much information like my target audience and overnight options. In my opinion 90 seconds is honestly long for an elevator pitch. The pitch should be short and reveal just enough that it is going to make your audience ask questions. If I had revealed too much then no one would have been asking my anything about the audience and age groups. My first one was short and got three people to ask these questions showing it was interesting enough for them to want to learn more.
I did extend this pitch a little bit longer than the last one but not by too much. I included information about costs, which in my opinion are a bit cheap for the product but my segment believed that was a good price, and I included one of my services, which is introducing some of these young players to agents around the world.
Hi Arman! I enjoyed the hook that you started your elevator pitch with, I think it will be successful in getting your target audience interested in your service. I also liked how you added in details of the pricing of your service and what is included with it. The only suggestion I would make is to still make it a bit longer, I typically think of elevator pitches of being around 30 seconds, but I think for this assignment as a pitch to investors it is okay for it to be closer to 90 seconds.
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ReplyDeleteYou had great pitch the first time and I think that this time you may have rounded it off. You added a few more details that make it a great pitch as they will want to know more. The cost are great but maybe you should think about making it like an actual academy in Europe with housing and all.
Hi, Arman! I remember your previous elevator pitch, and you've definitely made some really good changes. Your hook was very engaging, and you provided more information on the price of the program. It provided a lot more insight into the business and mission of your academy. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Arman, I liked how you started the introduction for the elevator pitch. It was a good pace and it really got me invested into your elevator pitched early. This is good because you don’t have to waste more time to get people interested. With that, it would’ve been nice if you took more time to get through the information and explain it more. I agree that 90 seconds is too long but it allows to give more information so the consumers or someone listening will have everything they need to make a decision. Although, I did like it being short and concise in its own right but just a little more would have been nice.
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